it is 11pm at night, I have work at 8:30 tomorrow morning, i need sleep, the laundry is right next to my room, stop throwing shit around in there. WHO DOES WASHING AT 11PM AT NIGHT ANYWAY! Get organised!!!!
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i follow back
i am feel like i am walking on eggshells right now, i try to say and do the right thing but it all comes out wrong. i don’t know if i am just over reacting but i feel like when i dont get any response from you that i have hurt your feelings and you dont want to talk to me anymore. the pain from yesterday and today is still there, it hasnt faded that much so anything else ontop of that is pushing me to my limit, i know that you love me as you said it before i mucked up but now i dont know if you are mad at me or if your phone was screwing up. i dont know if you will answer me tomorrow because you have an exam and i dont want to screw that up but i can’t handle not knowing if you are mad at me or not.
Well my night is confusing, I know don’t know where my relationship stands with my boyfriend, I am awake at 12:45am and I have to get up at 7am to go to uni. I babysat the cutest two year old in the world and I am utterly exhausted but I can’t sleep with this feeling of unknown. I know that if i knew that we wouldn’t be together anymore I wish I had never found out, but I am 90% sure we will work this out, so it is just the waiting until he has calmed down enough to either talk to me or forget it ever happened. I can live with if he just gets over it and starts talking to me again, I apologised and hopefully that will be enough, because I have realised that I am worth something and I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy with myself, I believe I am pretty, smart, capable of achieving anything I set out to do and in the end, isn’t that all that matters? How I feel about myself? Shouldn’t that be what i strive to achieve on a daily basis, to make myself happy and proud? I shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to be happy, if he loves me, he will love me for whoever I am, he wont try change me into what he believes I should be, because I should already be everything he wants and needs. A girl can hope though, can’t she?
